Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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