he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
