apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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