hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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