Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
