I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
