oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
