dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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