can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
