OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Randomize
