I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I smell like Dick and happiness
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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