seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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