Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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