Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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