Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
