we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
