About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
