Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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