Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
