all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
