Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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