saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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