I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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