is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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