his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I will be naked everywhere
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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