you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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