Well douche your snatch and let's go!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
