she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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