Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
