I am puke
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I want her autograph on my taint
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
