i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
