I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
