what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
