Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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