I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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