hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
