she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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