Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
