I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I bet he comes in French.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize