great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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