She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
