i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
