There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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