Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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