it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
