It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
