I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
