***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
