Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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