the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
