C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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