I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
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I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
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watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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