I molested 6 butterflies tonight
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
