it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
