I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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