so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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